Thursday, July 09, 2009

Choice of Airlines

I've had the occasion to fly on several airlines in the past 8 weeks: to Germany, via Amsterdam, Branson, and Seattle. I've flown on NWA, KLM, and Sun Country. Now I've learned there was another option: Lutheran Airlines:

Lutheran Airlines is now operating in Minnysota! Also serving Visconsin, nordern Mitchigan, and Nort and Sout Dakota. The next time you fly, consider Lutran Air, the no-frills airline.

Meals are potluck. Rows 1 tru 6, bring rolls; 7 tru 15, bring a salad; 16 tru 21, a hot dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free will offering, and da plane will not land till da budget is met. Pay attention to your flight attendant, who vill acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis plane. Okay den, listen up; I'm only gonna say dis vonce: In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly gonna be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because ve fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodder with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes--you're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair liddle holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're gonna have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sorta like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it. In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about “forgive us our sins as we forgive dose who sin against us,” which some people say “trespass against us,” which isn't right, but what can you do? Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God had meant you to use a cell phone, He wudda put your mout on da side of your head. We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffeepot up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pockets in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am gonna be real upset and I am not kiddin.

After ve land ve’ll have fellowship time in da terminal. I hope everyone remembered dere pan of bars.


MamaD4 said...

Don't you think they should have used "Lootrun" and not "Lutheran"?

Yuuuummmm, potluck...

DD4 said...

Yes, that's a great idea!