Good Advice

Many years ago, I was a faithful reader of the Dear Abby columns. While some of the time the letters seemed petty or even ridiculous, there were often those of real substance, people really in need of sound advice, searching for workable solutions. One particular column stood out to me—so much so, that I cut it out of the paper and for many, many years, have had it posted on my refrigerator. I have gone to it more than once for encouragement and direction. I give it to you here:

Things you can't control

• the age or stage of development your children are in

• whether the stoplight turns red or green

• the number of hours in a day

• other people

• the timing of your teenager's mood swings or your toddler's temper tantrums

• your age

• the way you were raised

• when work or a project takes much longer than expected

• waiting for your doctor 30 minutes after your scheduled appointment

• a death, illness, or accident in the family

• the calendar and approaching holidays

• being laid off from a job

• messes made right after you have cleaned the house

Things you can control

• your reaction to others

• your to-do list (and the number of items on it)

• how your day is spent

• your goals

• how much time you're willing to spend on a particular project

• your self-esteem and self-worth

• how you treat others

• your exercise and eating habits

• the communication of your needs to others

• telling people when you're stressed out and need time alone or help with projects

• whether or how much you smoke or drink alcohol

• how old you act

• the way you raise your children